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"Teachers never complain but we do wine"
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"Sedation, A nurses cure for stupidity"
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"Don't confuse your google search with my ______ degree"
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"Maths teachers have a lot of problems"
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"I love my wife more than golfing (.. and yes, she brought me this mug)"
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"Don't make me use my teacher voice"
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"Please do not confuse Google search with my nursing degree"
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"Nurses can't fix stupid, but we can sedate it"
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"Happy Birthday - Now you are one year closer to dying"
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"Happy Birthday - Another year closer to velcro shoes and smelling of wee"
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"Sorry i'm late, I didn't want to come"
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"A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me"
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"While sleepy, fill cup, drink coffee"
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"Some days the best thing about my job is that the chair spins"
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"I hope your day is as good as your Butt"
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"After this coffee i'm off for a poo"